Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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