You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
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