We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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