hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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