I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
