Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
