We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
