he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
