oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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