Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
