and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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