I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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