Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I have post one night stand depression
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
