Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
