I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
