The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
