I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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