An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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