Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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