I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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