it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
