i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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