How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
