it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
of course. lets lasso hookers.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
