Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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