I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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