Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
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