sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
