make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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