Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
