Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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