Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize