i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
