You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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