i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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