I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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