i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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