Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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