ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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