dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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