Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
