hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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