I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
