so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
