But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
On a scale of 1 to hungover Iām definitely throwing up at the office today.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
