Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
