all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
