his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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