watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
