did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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