I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
