So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize