i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
