real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
