I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
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i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
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I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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