when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
