i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
