I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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