there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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