I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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