Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
