I wish I could teleport
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
