OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
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