hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
